Debaucherous – The Lifestyle – 1.0




       There are many evil things one can do to another in a relationship. From the various forms of spousal abuse to jealousy, neglect, and control. However there is one instinctively human act that defies the unrealistic expectations set by societal standards. It rips through the conventional restraints set by the sexual fetish that is monogamy: CHEATING.

      Whether or not you believe monogamy is the natural human state, it is what’s expected. Even when statements made by consenting parties are to the contrary, it is still expected. With that in mind, I would like to tell of my epic personal history of cheating and all the torrid details. These are the tales of my rotten instinctual animal escapades, this is:

“Debaucherous – The Lifestyle”

      Some say cheaters never change; they stay cheaters, keep cheating, hedging their bets, and lining up the next kill. For some it is a choice and others it is instinctual. Cheating in nature is a  genetic safeguard against inbreeding. In primitive cultures it is a natural social state.

      Matriarchy, the social system most indigenous cultures follow, allows men to wander leaving the paternal duties to the maternal uncle. Fathers planting seeds all over villages, duty free.

     Cheating in some situations is a logical natural response to the complex social class system. How poor men & women get ahead, how alpha males show their power and position, even how the unfortunate earn money, by cheating.

    Cheating is big business too. From private investigators, divorce lawyers, to software to catch cheaters and apps to protect cheaters. Entire sneaky websites exclusively pandering to the NSA married hookup and hotels selling rooms by the hour for the daytime cheater.

    Some cheaters make it a lifestyle choice, I did, for YEARS. Second phones, internet numbers, secret email accounts, apps to hide text messages, and an accompanying lifestyle. Allowing yourself excuses, escapes, and just about anything to make sure you crash that relation’ship’ into a fucking bridge.

    I personally do think cheaters can and will change, because if I felt like being monogamous I would be. For some of us it is a game of statistics, a way of never having to settle down or really maintain something serious. An escape from problems; a way to never face issues head-on.

    Personally I know I am easier to deal with in a relationship if I am cheating. I let more things go, need less attention, and am more satisfied with the status quo while I am maintaining multiple preoccupations.

    This is something I have been doing since the first boy I kissed when I was 14, keeping one in one place and another somewhere else. Giving neither enough attention to grow into anything, and guess what, they never did.

   Actually the first boy I ever kissed still stalks my social media, and married a woman that looks just like me. The other one I had cheated on him with I dated again two years ago as an adult. We both cheated on each other in multiple states with multiple partners. Good thing I always keep it safe, but that is a long story for another article….for now, welcome to my Debaucherous Lifestyle.

***DISCLAIMER***This story, in its entirety, is a work of fiction. Anyone who says otherwise doesn’t know. Any similarity to anyone that ever existed is a coincidence. The characters are not real people, they are products of my imagination. That is all I have to say about that.***


About juliana

Philadelphian writer and advertiser. My hobbies include writing on things, making up words, and fishing.