Ask a Homo

The Battle For the Bulge

“The Battle For the Bulge”

Assk Me:

“I am new to the gay scene. My partner and I really enjoy anal sex, he is a bottom and I am a top. My partner keeps trying to control our sexual intercourse, but I am used to being in control. What do I do?” Thanks – Control Freakzilla

This is a battle that has been raging since the dawn of gays. In all the frenzy of hot sweaty bodies thrusting and screaming. All the begging for more, and dirty pillow talk. Who is “supposed” to be sexually dominant in the bed room, the top or the bottom? There are many opinions on this matter. In fact, you could do a web search and likely find several opinions that differ from mine. But who cares what they think. This is my column, and mine is the only opinion that truly matters.

In the beginning we are all noob’s to gay sex and what to expect. There is no shame in that. This does mean however, answer to your question is not as simple as it may appear. You see there are several stages of tops and bottoms, differing primarily due to experience.


Gotta Get Laid Top (GGLT) – This is the young man who is only thinking about sticking his hard massive meat into a hole somewhere and thrusting till he finds his nut. We have likely all been here, and some of us just never leave. This top wants to control the situation because he has one sole purpose, finding his nut. Oblivious to his surroundings he is useless for anything but a good stiff pole. He is usually new to the gay scene, and doesn’t understand why it differs so much from the straight scene where he was always in control. If you start your bottoming career with one of these, let me suggest bondage!

The Versatile Top (or Vers Top) – This top has had some experience being top, and some experience being a bottom. This top will flip flop and is much more likely to give up control to the bottom. This top knows how important it is while bottoming to be in control of the situation for your comfort and for your orgasm. You will often see a progression from vers top to vers bottom or from vers top to power top. Rarely do you see a vers top convert to a power bottom.

The POWER Top – This is a rare breed of male specimen, this is an evolved Gotta Get Laid Top. This top seeks out a “Power bottom” in order to get his rocks off. He enjoys being in control, and he knows he needs a bottom with experience. One that can bend (pun intended) to his will and do all the kinky crazy things he wants them to do. The power top seeks a power bottom because they are the only ones capable of fully relinquishing control.


Tight and horny (T&H) – This is the NOOB bottom; they need to be handled with care for safety and pleasure. If a power top were to hit this bottom, they would never have anal sex again. This bottom needs full control of the situation in order to relax specific muscles and ensure the top is hitting the OMG spot. Unfortunately, this bottom will likely mate with a GGLT and not be happy with the resulting issues. This can result in a very long interval between ever trying to bottom again. I know this from experience!

Versatile Bottom (or Vers Bottom) – This bottom can give it and receive it. They prefer to bottom but if the right ass crosses their path they will be happy to take the wheel. Most Versatile bottoms don’t like other vers bottoms. They prefer one of the extremes if they are to top. Some prefer a power bottom because they have massive tools that a tight and horny can’t handle yet, or they are a little lacking in the meat division and would prefer a tight and horny. If you have a vers bottom, get ready to invest in some toys.

The POWER Bottom – This is the bottom of all bottoms, and the only one capable of relinquishing full control to their top. This bottom will likely never top! Someone or something has to be stimulating their prostate in order for them to reach climax or even maintain an erection. For the power bottom the stimulation of the prostate results in an extreme orgasmic feeling and most times a power bottom isn’t as concerned with finding their nut. This type of bottom is not as rare as the Power top. Partly because it is the evolution of vers bottom, tight and horny, or even a vers top who lands a good pounding. This is not a position you are born into, rather one you are trained for like a marathon.  Luckily the power bottom can work their magic with more than one cock, or any number of toys. This means they are not stressed about the number of other bottoms out there, since they are capable of caring for their own orgasm with any other classification besides their own.

In response to your question; measure yourself. No, not there bitch! Use the terms above; where are you at on the list? If you are a GGLT or a T&H, take the time to prepare properly. Understand each other. It’s not easy the first few times you bottom. So if you are a GGLT; stop, consider your partner. Do you want them in pain? Do you want to rip their insides to hell and back? Let them take control for a moment, just until they feel comfy. Or you could always let them pound your ass for a moment and see how you like it. Don’t be a douche if the bottom wants control, they want it for a reason.


Ryan –