Homo Say What?

Dashboard Confessional And Confessions Of Love

dear_kevin_dashboard_confessional

We all have that band we’re ashamed to admit we still listen to and I guess mine would have to be Dashboard Confessional. It just reminds me of this time in my life where surprise surprise, I was depressed and was totally emo and would randomly get in my car and drive around on backroads and stare out the window and ponder my life. I think back on it and laugh and really can’t believe that was me??

So while working on a new craft project last night I put on my Dashboard playlist and just got lost in thoughts about when I was really into them and totally remembered that I made a POWERPOINT presentation on their Unplugged Album. Seriously.

The year was 2002 and I was head over heels in love with this boy, we’ll call him Kevin. He lived in AC and I, in a small town an hour and thirty minutes away. We met on a gay.com chat room and would talk about music and movies and parties we couldn’t wait to go to (we were both ravers, or we were at the tail end of our raver phase.. the details are a little hazy).

It was one of those situations where he was totally out of my league and had no idea how much I liked him so I crafted this master plan on how to let him know my feelings. It was right around the time that Dashboard came out with their unplugged album and he and I would talk endless about how great the album was, how his vocals were made for acoustics, etc.

So I took it upon myself to make him this PowerPoint presentation on the album. I spent like two weeks making this thing, all clickable links for every song that took you to a separate page to play the track, watch the video, read the lyrics.. the WORKS. Added a gallery of the hottest pics of Chris Carrabba I could fine. It was a total fan girl piece of art and thought it would be really fucking clever of me to add a “hidden track” link at the end, which when clicked linked to a fucking VIDEO of me professing my love to him. I don’t even remembered what I said but I do remember writing, and rewriting what I was going to say at least 1,000 times.

chris_carrabba

We met up at the club, danced to the newest tracks together and at the end of the night I gave him the CD with a kiss goodbye on the cheek and added “I put a few extras on there for ya” and fucking WINKED thinking I was sooo slick. I couldn’t wait to receive the call or email from him about how he felt the same, how the cd was such a great idea and all those fantasies of us living happily ever after that were playing in my head.

But it never came. No call, no email.. Nothing. After a few weeks of him not mentioning it all the while he and I were still chatting regularly I asked if he liked what I made for him. “oh that!,  I mailed it to my friend for his birthday.”

awkward

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