What’s an Otter to do? Say you just happen to stumble upon a collection of amazing “vintage magazines” from the 1950’s and 1960’s. Say that you find out that “said magazines” are for sale at an incredible price. After you’ve creamed your pants twice and pray to yourself the stain doesn’t start to slowly seep through, and that you don’t ejaculate in public again, you purchase ALL OF THEM!
This is exactly what happened to this Otter when there they were, a few faded chap books displayed on a yard sale blanket one fine, fall afternoon, and thus I scored a collection of rare physique publications I have no intentions of parting with. Ever.
Filled with images of male perfection from bygone days, these treasures are in great condition with minimal to no cum stains, and I am in heaven! Paging through the contents of these precious gems is a glimpse into a whole other world. The times were changing, the war was over and American prosperity was booming. Everything was bountiful… Food was bountiful, clothes were bountiful, cars were bountiful, bigotry was bountiful! New technology allotted time to pursue new activities and leisure like never before. Publishing and advertising were booming, enticing readers with exotic locals to visit on the strong American dollar. Fashions were changing and the male physique was receiving more attention than ever before; and something was beginning to simmer (ok, let me say this: I really feel that this is not the “beginning” per se, but insecurities/hysteria in America were rising, I mean it was the McCarthy era for Christ sake.) under the radar that wouldn’t boil over until the riots at Stonewall. Homosexuality was a serious threat; distribution of gay pornography could lead to personal ruin, jail or worse. But, as always, there were ways around the law, and physique magazines were a perfect vehicle to exploit the hyper sexualized male form. From these magazines, “body builders”, “artists”, and “amateurs” could “draw” inspiration. On the back pages of such periodicals could be found advertisements for full sets of prints and even films for home viewing featuring the models displayed within the pages… Oh the clever gays!
For years I’ve had an intense interest in the physique models of yore; those guys were built like GODS, utilizing the very basic of gymnasium equipment (even jungle gyms) to build up their bodies to Herculean proportions. As a teen, all I knew was that these guys were hot, and there would be no way in hell (even if I gave up my soul to Satan, or purchased a gym membership) that I would ever be built like the oiled up studs, posing in their pouches suspended on a string… It’s a fact of life for the hopelessly skinny boy. I have been rail thin my entire life. I reached my full height of 6’ 1” by 18 and still maintain the flat 28 inch waist of 15 year old self, even though I’m now in my early 30’s. I hate working out in gyms (I’ve tried that) and prefer to keep active by naturally speed walking the six miles total, to and from the office (weather permitting). Let’s just say I’m not much of an athlete. Slowly but surely I grew into my awkward frame and learned to accept my thinness, maybe too thin? Now, it’s not that I look like the last days of Karen Carpenter here I’m just skinny, I’ve worked it to my advantage, naturally in the world of fashion, but I digress. I want to give you a mental image to work with here.
A couple of months ago I had the BRILLIANT idea (insert sarcasm) that I might just give this whole “fitness” thing a try… again. So here’s the deal, for me to do this I have to make it interesting, this is where the collection of smut comes into the scene. After reviewing the contents of the material at hand I noticed all the wonderful advertisements promising increased weight gains and muscle building tricks, tonics and equipment. Thus, the “60 Years, 1954 To 2014, Can The Otter Achieve Similar Results, Let’s Look Like A Porn Star Workout And Diet Plan” came to be, except I’ll have to change the name. So we’ll just call it “A 1954 Physique In 2014. Is It Possible?” So is it possible? I have no idea yet. That is why you will have to come back and read this blog every week for the next six months. But what will the Otter be doing? Joining a gym? Big deal. No, I will not be joining a “gym” and I will not be taking enhancements available at that place, what’s it called? (there is one by my office, you know the place with all the bottles and its red) GMC? No. GNC! Thanks Dee and Emja! Ok, maybe a powdered supplement like whey or soy (amazingly there were soy supplements available in the 50’s, who knew?). However, a diet of meals and meal plans gleaned from the periodicals themselves, my Great Grandmother’s and Nana’s cookbooks will actually be the basis of this, physical transformation experiment. That’s right, it’s not going to be all that healthy and I don’t care. I’m not trying to help anyone, or promote a healthy way of living so health nuts back off, I’m looking forward to a lot of meatloaf in my near future. As for the exercise bit? I’m turning my basement into a home gym, nothing crazy, just a simple classic Weider barbell and dumbbell set.
So come along, join me on this new/old path of discovery. It’ll be fun! (Actually I will probably be quite miserable) Fun for everyone! I plan on sharing not only my personal progress, but recipes, sexy vintage beefcake images, wardrobe ideas for a changing figure and plenty more!