Pulp

25 Reasons Why Just Giving In And Reading About Other People Is Okay

random-facts-about-everything-8

Does anyone remember the “25 Things” Facebook phenomenon (you just gotta wonder who started that…until you realize we were all just frozen and bored so we gave in collectively)? Listing trends on Facebook come and go, but few were as telling and as popular as the “25 Things”. 

 

Facebook's 25 Things Original

 

In fact, list-making in general is crowding the internet, becoming the foundation of blogs. But my favorite lists always follow the rule, “it’s funny because it’s true”. So I dug through my years and years of Facebook statuses and am now presenting to you some twenty-five pieces of amazement (taken straight from their lists so they’re “numbered funny”) that define my friends to this day. Either keep the list going or let’s bring this back. They’re all funny because they’re all true.

 

 


4. I’m not a great driver. I’ve done some really stupid things to get people to stop tailgating behind me while driving, including excessive annoying breaking, hand gestures, and tossing an apple core back into their windshield. That was the best WTF face I’ve ever seen.

 

25. I’m really horrible with computers and technology. I’m okay with Macs but I doubt I could even turn a PC on. I know this is going to be a problem for me in the future and I need to work on it. 

 

19. I realize that if I don’t quit smoking I am likely to get cancer. I ask myself, “What do you think is going to happen?” I keep smoking. I love everything about smoking. Besides the impending cancer.

 

19-I feel the constant need to be ready. For what? Lord only knows. I don’t have a clue, really, but I do feel the need to be ready for it.

 

VEINTITRES… I LOVE PRIME NUMBERS. IF I SEE NON-PRIME NUMBERS, I HAVE TO IGNORE THEM OR THEY WILL MAKE ME ANNOYED UNTIL I FACTOR THEM IN MY HEAD. THIS IS WHY I DONT LOOK AT RECEIPTS BECAUSE LARGE AMOUNTS OF MONEY TAKE A LONG TIME TO FACTOR. I AM CERTIFIABLY ODD. (who only listed 23 things because 25 things annoy her)

 

22- i’ve always wanted to go on a trek to look for sunken treasure and pirate ships… i want diamonds bitch

 

21. I love BMWs and Corvettes. Maybe I’ll own one someday but for now it is a minivan. 

 

7) I want to live in Arizona so bad that i bought a cactus and wear an Arizona hoodie every night before I go to bed.

 

NINE: i want to learn how to play the accordion. first i need to buy one. SELL ME YOURS!

 

8. I like to make up ridiculous stories when I’m drunk. I told one guy that I was in a movie – I was the little girl Vin Diesel tries to save in “Saving Private Ryan.” He believed me. Idiot.

 

6. In the whole month of January, I wore pants twice.

 

7. I am a gay man stuck in a lesbian’s body. I hate flannel, mullets, bad fashion sense, feminism, and Tegan and Sara / Ani Difranco.

 

3. in 3rd grade, i was on carmen sandiego when it traveled around to all 50 states. i was an informant and i wore a tutu. no you cant see the video.

 

13. I just got a Nintendo DS and the only games I like so far are the ones with Mario

 

15. I hate when people have ridiculously long Facebook statuses, expecially when they include multiple versions of LOL and LMAO.

 

7. I just spent 2 minutes reading about the usage of the term “empirical.”

 

15. I once made a sandwich consisting of marshmallows, ketchup, and rye bread and my parents made me eat ALL of it.

 

10. I love light.

 

14. When I was four, I decided to change my name. For a few weeks, I asked everyone to call me “Jessica Balloon.”

 

9. Trained my dog to ring the doorbell and fetch beers.

 

16. Sometimes I just stop paying attention to people while they are talking to me, and then say something generic when they’re done talking, as in “oooh”, or if they’re smiling/laughing/frowning,

 I’ll play off that. Don’t ask me why, my attention just kind of stops.
al-clock-numbers thing. I win when they match to the number. This may be hard to explain, but check out a “5” on a digital clock. Five slashes make up a five, so I win. The most perfect combinations for this game are all times with 4, 5 and 6 because those three always match up. Sevens are the most disappointing of all digital digits: there are only three slashes. Lame.

 

15. I have a weird count-the-slashes-in-digit

 

8. Boobies are great things, in my book — and on my chest. Also, in my mouth. BOOBIES.


25. ever since my brother died, when i love, its with all my heart. you never know when you’ll lose those you care about most. don’t waste time not loving because it’s all there really is in this world. (it was either that or the subconsciously pulling his hair out thing)

 

1. i haven’t even begun to unleash my whipping on the world’s butt…in a nice way.

Share

About emja

Emja* was born in Björk’s house in Iceland and grew up on Easter Island, where her parents were giant stone heads. She has the ability to fire beams of tacos out of her hands and she can turn her legs into tigers. On Sundays, Emja enjoys reading Family Circus and traveling through time. Her favorite color is greenish-transparent and her favorite movie is the one you just watched. Emja is in charge of uploading the staff bios to the website, and no one has checked over her work. *name has been changed