Ask Anything

The Friends Zone

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Jennifer from MO asks “I think I’ve been friend zoned but it’s hard to tell. I really like the guy, but I don’t want to ruin our friendship. How can I tell if I’ve been friend zoned?”

So you meet a new guy, chat him up at the gym, the bar, the grocery store and exchange numbers. He calls you a few days later and asks you if you want to meet at the bar and watch the football game with his buddies, or if you want to go see a movie on a Saturday afternoon.  Are you in the friend zone?

Sometimes is is hard to tell if your new friend thinks of you as one of the guys or if he just likes to take it slow.  Is he the type that is too afraid to make the first move?  Or does he just not want to?

There are a few sure tell signs that you have been placed in the friend zone:

1. Does he talk about other girls to you or in front of you?  If yes, you are in the friend zone.

2. Does he try to get you to play wingman for him?  If yes, you are in the friend zone.

3. Does he make an effort to shower and look nice every time he sees you or show up like he just left the gym?

4. Does he answer your phone calls and texts within a few hours, or leave you hanging and answer days later?

5. Does he initiate contact with you, or are you always following up with him on the next time you will hang out?

If you still are unsure if you are in the friend zone or potential girlfriend material, just ask him out on a date.  He may think he is in the friend zone, or may have a fear of rejection and be relieved that you took the initiative to ask him out.  Worst case scenario, he tells you are in the friend zone and at least you know and can yet again begin searching for Prince Charming.

Now you want to know how to get OUT of the friend zone?

There are some situations when that just isn’t possible.  Maybe you aren’t physically his type, or he bats for the other team, or he just isn’t ready for a relationship.  If those are the case, there is no getting out of the friend zone.  If you think he is straight and into your look, try this.

1.  Get your hair done, some color, a nice trim, but some new makeup, a new dress, maybe even a mani/pedi.  Don’t get my wrong here ladies, this isn’t for him.  This is for you.  If you do all these things, or even just a few, you will feel better about yourself and more confident.  When you feel pretty, guys think you are pretty.

2.  Flirt with him.  Maybe you got friend zoned because of your mutual interest in Call of Duty or Football so he just automatically put you in the same group as his buddies.  Show him your feminine side and bat your eyelashes a little.

3.  Compliment him.  Don’t go overboard.  You don’t want him to think you got all weird all of the sudden.  Who remembers Cher in Clueless when she was in love with the gay guy and looked all silly?  Don’t be Cher.

4. If all else fails, put some distance between you two.  Flirt with other guys when you go out, maybe even ask one of his friends on a date.  Don’t run to the phone every time he calls or text you.  Give him a little something to miss.  Absence makes the heart grow fonder and he might just realize he put you in the wrong zone.

If you have any additional suggestions on how to get out of the friend zone, leave it in the comments below.

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About Robyn Guinness

I like cheesecake, eggrolls, Miller Light, and asparagus. Just don't mix it all together.