Entertainment

Emails to Ron Jeremy: Part One

Our friends at RonJeremy.com get loads of emails sent to Ron through the site’s contact page. They can respond to common questions (there are a lot of them, such as, “Can you star in my homemade movie?”, “How do I get into porn?” and, “How do I increase my p3Nis sZe?”), and flag the ones of genuine intrigue.

The best part of THIS job, is being able to see the ‘OMG’s and the ‘He Did NOT Just Ask That’s. So, thanks to the site for sharing with us the Hall of Fame WTF list of emails to the legend himself, Ron Jeremy.

 

Chicken Soup for Your Pole (feel better, this will cheer you up)

I hope you feel better and i foudn something online that you may want to share. It makes me proud of my little titties lol
Its a music video on boobies with some weird girls from brooklyn …and it looks like its going viral.
Let me See your Boobies by east24stproductions
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k3RCMZqZ5uE

Mary H

 

We all have to start somewhere…

I want to start my business in Venezuela and export the product as I can do.

Marlon O

 

; )

Do you only fuck in front of the camera? ; )

Melanie

 

No actually, it’s prune juice

how do you get your dick bigger by grape juice

Michael

 

Take my wife, please!

hello

how are you my wife want you ? can you accept her please thank you

Halim

 

Too bad!

Ron,
I wanted to attach a pic of my wife tits for you to autograph for me, but I can’t do an attachment.  Too bad!
Can you send me an autograph on someone else’s tits?  Just checking.
Thanks, bud!  Stay cool.

John

 

This might actually be an inside job

promise you’ll contact Larry Flynt if i throw away the e-mail i’m composing to ask if there’s a way for him to help me get set up in a big room with forty or fifty of my (polygamous) wives with the equipment for web-cam?

Odin

 

Okay no THIS might be an actual inside job

To Whom it may concern, You probably get a lot of story lines for scenes for your videos. Im not sure if you draw the line anywhere. To make a long story short , I was the Person of Interest in the Oak Creek Wisconsin Sikh Temple shooting. I was cleared by the F.B.I. of any involvement, I was targeted cause of my 9/11 tattoo on my arm. The head of the FBI investigation was this decent blonde, basically she blasted me all over the media as being a person of interest in this mass shooting. But it was unfounded and I was cleared. I was wondering if their was a story line in here that might interest a video. Of course I am staying anonymous for now and will only give my real identity if you are serious in a story. You can Google me  9/11 tattoo person of interest. Reporters had a hard time locating me, I only did one interview with Foxs Jenna Winter and she butchered my story. You might ask what my goal is here, one is to get back ! at the FBI for screwing me. I look forward to any interest or questions you might have. Thank you.

Person Interest

 

It’s not.

hi if this message reading you Ron Jeremy by yourself i wanna tell you that i am in love with you, yes really!!  i know it’s strange but it’s true and i really wanna meet you at least one time in my life.  If this is possible tell me i can do anything for you

Usman

 

What in the actual fuck

Oh God Help Me!
My Name is Ron Jeremy
I am dying, even if I got a temporary reprieve due to medical technology, the handwriting is on the wall, my life is at an end.
My heart will seize up in another coronary, just like it did last week.
And I will die a death of choking on my own blood, just like I nearly did last week.
Oh God help me from such a painful death, I don’t want to hear my own throat gurgling on my blood.  Oh God Here It Comes!
Gurgle Gurgle Gurgle Gurgle. .. . .

ohgodhelpme <ohgodgelpme@gurgle.com>

 

 

So there’s ten for you to muddle over. And lucky for you, this never stops, so get your part two in December.

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