The Tragic Tale of Swino

In case you missed it, last month a feral pig by the name of Swino made some headlines all over the world. The pig drank 18 cans of beer that he found roaming around a campsite. 18! That’s a whole lot of beer, especially for a pig. I wonder what his blood alcohol content was after that… Anyway, after consuming the beer the drunken pig proceeded to go on a rampage which included ripping through trash and even starting a fight with a cow. Oh how I wish I was there to see that encounter.

After his bout with the cow, Swino crossed a river and fell asleep by a log. I mean, honestly, who among us hasn’t been in this situation before? You have a few beers with your buddies and BOOM! Next thing you know you’re fighting farm animals and passing out at a campsite. Sounds like a typical Tuesday night to me.

This was the last time Swino was scene, however. *dramatic horn hits* Now, this instance occurred about a month ago. So where did this awesome pig go off to? What has he been doing since his now famous campsite antics? Well sadly we will never know what other types of adventures Swino got himself in to. One, because he is a pig. And pigs can’t talk. Two, the feral pig appeared in headlines once again just the other day. However, this time the news is only tragic. You see, Swino was killed.

Just how did this amazing creature meet his end? Well, it’s being reported that Swino was in a car accident. And no, it wasn’t a case of our porky friend stealing an automobile and driving while intoxicated. Although that would make for a very fitting end to this tale.

But no, instead, Swino was apparently hit by a truck. This is a tragic and very upsetting way for this great pig to pass on. It’s a shame that he couldn’t die doing what he loved; getting hammered and rampaging through the Australian countryside. I would have loved to see him take on a kangaroo next. That would have been a match for the ages!

kangaroos fighting

We can only hope that Swino is knocking back beers in animal heaven now. Although his time was tragically cut short, and he wasn’t able to be fully appreciated while on this planet; Swino’s tale will live on forever. He will always be remembered as the most badass pig there ever was.


About Alex

I'm Alex. I blog for AnythingGoes. Things that interest me include music, fashion, bourbon, sports, and film.