Food & Drink

DGAF Appetizers for the Holidays

DGAF Cooking for the HolidaysIt’s that time of year when there is a holiday party around every corner. Hooray! Let’s celebrate with tons of decadent, delicious food and drinks. But what do you do when you’re supposed to bring a dish? Do you freak out in anxiety at the prospect of making something that isn’t instant rice? Do you immediately offer to bring wine? Damn your fear! I have some easy, delicious ideas that will allow you to breathe easy while you win friends and phone numbers at the snack table.

No Cook Wet & Dry


1 cup red wine (cheap is fine) or apple cider for non-alcoholic version

1 cup dried fruit (I use figs and raisins)

Splash of water

Complements: crackers and hard cheese

This is best made a few hours in advance of an event to allow the fruit to soak up the liquid.

First, get a container you don’t mind leaving behind with the party host. Trader Joe’s peanut butter jars work well. Chop any larger fruit (figs, apricots, pear and apple slices, etc.) into bite size pieces. Then place all fruit into that PB jar. Pour in the wine or cider. You want to cover the fruit entirely, so add a splash of water if wine doesn’t it all. Now put a lid on it and walk away for a few hours. If you have wine left, you may want to drink some.

To serve: Bring your peanut butter jar of wet fruit to the party. Open it and stick a teaspoon in it. Serve with whatever crackers you can and a block of hard cheese, preferably with a knife and cutting board for the cheese. Neutral cracker + salty, hard cheese + sweet, plump fruit will win you a seat at a standing room only party.

4×1 Peanut Butter Cookies

Maybe these aren’t an appetizer per se, but who cares? These cookies will get you laid by anyone who doesn’t have a peanut allergy.

Ingredients for 18 cookie batch:

1 cup peanut butter (creamy or chunky, whatever you prefer)

1 cup brown sugar (or white, for a very slight difference in texture)

1 tsp of baking soda

1 egg (or egg replacer equivalent for vegan option)

Mix all of the ingredients together until you have a thick paste of dough. Then roll small chunks of the dough into balls. Gently flatten when you place them on an ungreased cookie sheet. They should be about an inch apart.  (These cookies don’t really spread when baking.) Bake for 8-12 minutes. The bottoms should get slightly brown, but the top part of the cookie won’t really change color. Allow to cool on a wire rack.

To serve: You don’t even have to plate these. Just put them down wherever the rest of the party food is. Then watch people flock to your side when they hear you made these bad boys. This is a night to wear your good underwear and pack a rubber.

If these recipes are still too much to bear, you should be ashamed of yourself. Just kidding. You can always bring the Fifty Shades of Grey wines to the party.


About Dee

I'm a blogger, photographer, and collector of human sexuality information.