Have you ever thought to yourself, “I really wish I could smell like pizza today”? If you haven’t ever had this thought before, then you should probably just leave now, as this post won’t make much sense to you. However, if you have encountered this line of thinking in the past, then there’s some good news! Fragrance company, Demeter, has just come out with a pizza scented cologne.
At first, I was a little skeptical of this whole idea. I mean, really, pizza? As much as I enjoy a nice cheese slice, do I really want to walk around smelling like a greasy junk food? But then I read the mission behind Demeter. Their logic is that you don’t go out every day in a tux, do you? No, of course not. Some days you get really dressed up, sure. But for the most part you just wear your typical jeans and a t-shirt. And hell, some days you’re probably just lounging around in sweatpants. Well this pizza cologne is the sweatpants and t-shirt of the fragrance world. You’re not going to wear some fancy, expensive cologne to just sit around the house or go to a movie. But maybe even though you’re not going out to get dolled up, you still want to add a little something in the scent department. Boom, pizza. Grab your little bottle, put a few splashes on, and you’re ready for a nice casual event.
Maybe you’re still a little undecided on this. It’s understandable. I think you’d have to be confident to pull this off. Go at it full force. If someone asks you why you smell like pizza just be like, “Because I’m wearing pizza cologne, bitch. Why don’t you smell like you pizza?!” Assert your dominance in the fragrance chain of command. Others will begin to follow.
Here are some situations in which I’d recommend wearing pizza cologne.
- You’re going out on a date with one of the Ninja Turtles. They’ll go nuts for this. You’re practically guaranteed a second date.
- You’re meeting up with someone you want things to get hot and steamy with. Think of your sex life with the addition of this cologne like an actual, literal pizza just out of the oven. It’s going to be greasy, hot, and you’ll probably finish way faster than you intended.
- Every college party ever. What always ends up happening at these things? Everyone gets really drunk and then really hungry. Say you’ve had your eye on a cute girl or boy the whole evening. Well, the alcohol is starting to get to everyone, and they’re getting hungry. Now’s your chance! You slide in next to your crush, and they catch a whiff. Next thing you know, your luscious scent is getting you devoured in the bedroom.