The Fornicator

8 Reasons Why Sex Sucks

fry meme

It’s high time people start recognizing the fact that sex isn’t perfect in every way. We often act like it’s the greatest thing ever. And yeah, it is pretty great. But it also certainly has its flaws. It can be a lot of effort and turn into a whole process. Sometimes rubbing one out is just easier. Here are 8 reasons why sex isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.

1.  Forced Dirty Talk

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There always come a time during sex when your partner asks you to talk dirty to them. Now occasionally dirty talk can be great. However, when you’re put on the spot like this it generally comes out forced and awkward instead of sounding hot and sexual. So a word to the wise, let dirty talk come up naturally. Don’t try and force it!

2.  Finishing Too Early

penguin meme

Hooking up with really hot girls is great. What’s not so great is when the girl is so attractive that you last all of 20 seconds. This is the pinnacle of your sexual career, and you just came after 3 thrusts.

3.  The Cleanup

woman laying in cum

Sex isn’t like it is in the movies. After it’s done you can’t just roll over and cuddle or fall asleep. I mean, you can I guess. But you’re going to roll right into a nice wet spot most likely. This is known as the ‘cuddle puddle’.

4.  It’s Really Tiring

guy laying down tired

Sex can be exhausting. Sure, putting a little work in is all well and good. But next thing you know you’ve been going at it for a while, and your arms feel like they’re about to fall off from propping yourself up. You just wanted to get laid, not go through a damn workout.

5.  Dealing with a Self-Conscious Other

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While cumming too soon is a problem for guys many times, the opposite can also be an issue. Sometimes it’s just hard to get off. And when this happens, the other partner almost always thinks it’s their fault. Now you have to spend the next hour reassuring them that they’re attractive and turn you on, but you just couldn’t cum for some reason.

6.  Fear of Pregnancy

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No matter how many methods of protection you use when having sex, there is always that tiny thought of pregnancy somewhere in the back of your mind. Oh, your period is a day late? Have fun spending 24 hours freaking out thinking you’re going to be a parent.

7.  Condoms

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Condoms provide a great service. They let us have sex without the terrible and awful outcome that is having a child. However, they can really suck sometimes. First, the sex is never as good with a condom as it would be without. And second, stopping to take the time to open one up and put it on almost always creates an awkward moment. There is no smooth way of going about that.

8.  Dead Fish

woman bored during sex

Probably the worst thing when it comes to sex is when the person you are with is completely uninterested. A female partner is known as a ‘dead fish’ when she simply lies in the missionary position completely emotionless. I get missionary is the standard sex position. But that doesn’t mean you have to just lay there looking bored out of your mind. This is the quickest way to kill the mood.

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About Alex

I'm Alex. I blog for AnythingGoes. Things that interest me include music, fashion, bourbon, sports, and film.