The Funnies

Introspective Porn Quotes

Inspirational pornstar quote

Have you ever found yourself watching porn and hear one of the stars say something so ridiculous you can’t help but laugh hysterically? Well I found a bunch of those quotes that just make you go, “Wait, what did they just say?!” Then we took those quotes and put them on very stoic looking images of the stars that said them. Hilarity ensued.

This is Tori Black. She said this great line whilst holding two dicks against her face. The look of struggle on her face just fits the quote so perfectly.

Asa Akira quote

Asa Akira is one of my all time favorite porn stars. One reason is because I love Asian girls. But also because she says things like this. Seriously, can you imagine  hooking up with a girl and her saying this?! I don’t even think I’d be able to finish. I’d just stand there laughing in shock.

Christy Mack quote

When I heard this one, I think I sat just staring at the screen with my mouth open for a good 5 minutes. It’s just so absurd. If you want to hear it in its original context, check out Tattooed Anal Sluts.

James Deen quote

 James Deen looks like he could be doing a Calvin Klein ad in this pic. However, while Calvin Klein ads can be a little suggestive, they generally aren’t quite as blunt as James’ quote here.

Lexi Belle quote

So the porn industry sometimes uses fake cum. Come on, you didn’t really think some of those guys can blow loads that big, did you? It is a little odd, though, that Lexi Belle decided to ask specifically for the fake stuff in the middle of being banged. She could at least pretend it’s real… Oh and if you want to make your own, here are a couple of fake cum recipes.

Sasha Grey quote

Last is the always wonderful, yet incredibly vulgar, Sasha Grey. She just gets so aggressive sometimes. Which I guess is understandable since a lot of her time is spent being gangbanged. She’s looking very politician-like in this picture. I think more of our political leaders should throw quotes like this one into their speeches. I bet a lot more people would start paying attention to politics.

 

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About Danny C

Over the course of his long and illustrious career, Danny C has been dubbed the last remaining true connoisseur of fine scat. The New York Times once named him, "The world's forefront expert and appreciator of the nearly lost art of scat munching." Danny's contributions to the world of scat tasting have included numerous essays on new and rare techniques, a wonderful coffee table book titled, "Scat Delicacies from Around the World - An Illustrated Guide," the resurrection of ancient and nearly forgotten Chinese bowel exercises, and his most recent book, "Scat Propulsion for Maximum Force and Accuracy." Danny now runs his own institute, a 3 week course designed for beginners and scat-munching veterans alike. He regularly organizes workshops for those who would like to participate in the more esoteric practices such as scat bathing, scat wrestling, and other feces-related niche pastimes. To book an appointment today, simply contact him directly through this page and he or one of his assistants will get back to you within two business days.