Deleting iMessage threads as you walk up to boy/girl pal’s door are so passé. Take advantage of these “apps for couples” and hide them next to your track-my-period app so your indiscretion stays discretioned. Since your significant other probably knows your password lock number (even if you don’t think they do, just know they probably do), these cheat hacks will take you right on down the road to secret bliss. Nothing like a good ‘ole iPhone app* meant for bringing relationships closer than to get you closer to someone else**!
Couple is like an interactive scrapbook for “couples.” You can privately message each other, store photos of
memories nakie nudies, sketch to each other, and “thumb kiss,” which is totally cool if you can’t touch one another at that moment. Has anyone tried this with nipples?
Orrrrr, if “Couple” seems suspicious in a folder, use Between
Somehow seeing “Between” in a folder while skimming through apps seems not as suspicious. I mean, look at that icon. B* That could be a logo for a tween pop band, or even a Speak & Spell app. Almost invisible in your folder of “entertainment”! It’s pretty much exactly like Couple, but without the dirty sketches or the nipple touching feature.
For some reason, Avocado just looks more streamlined and prettier to use than the others above. But just call me Lil’ Miss Sans Serif. Alright so you got the chat (check), drawing art (check), sexret photo storage (check), nipple touching (ch- wait. no apparently you can only kiss the screen or hug it), and you also get photo-reactions of your mood, a calendar (GUESS WHO’S NOT HOME NEXT WEDNESDAY), lists (you’re more creative than I with this if you’re cheating).
Alright, stalker. This app tells you precisely where all your friends are and allows instant voice mails. It’s like voice text messaging. Which, if you know your technology, is not the same as facetime.
Private Photo Vault
If you’re a photos-only type perv, hey man that’s cool, this app was made for your collection. Or if Snapchat has too much of an impatience complex for you, then this will work. Pretty much every feature you could ever think of to keep snoopers from your albums are enabled with this. Even a security camera, so if someone tries to get in and they’re wrong, their picture is snapped along with their gps-based location (hahahahaha).
Private Incognito Browsing
Yes, this exists for your phone and there are too many varieties to pick one out for you. Click on the icon above to go to that one, but honestly I only chose to feature it because of the super gnarly image they chose for their thumbnail icon.
The Completely Obvious Snapchat Route
** all above apps are available on Google Play or whatever, just click the picture
** this article is for fun and irony and we do not actually condone cheating. if you seriously need instructions on how to cheat, you should reconsider your actions because you will
probably get caught