Have you ever thought to yourself, “Man…my name is just so boring and ugly sounding”? Maybe you have, and maybe you haven’t. It’s perfectly reasonable to not like your name. I mean, we don’t get to choose them for ourselves. Just because our parents picked out some random thing to call us, doesn’t mean we have to like it. However, most of us get by and deal with it. And for those who really want a change, it’s generally to something still sort of regular and normal sounding. This was not the case for one Ohio woman, though. The woman formerly known as Sheila, has legally changed her name to Sexy. That’s right. This woman’s name is now Sexy Ranea Crabtree.
Apparently Sheila just wasn’t cutting it for this lady. And really, who can blame her. I mean, Sheila is a pretty shitty name. It just sounds dumb. Sorry to any Sheilas I may have offended. But be honest with yourselves, seriously. Anyway, Crabtree took this matter to the courts and had the name legally changed. She should probably be thankful this managed to go through, because her second choice after Sexy was Sparkle.
Really, Sparkle? That was your backup plan if Sexy didn’t work? Don’t get me wrong. I think changing your name to Sexy is a pretty idiotic thing to do, too. But at least the word sexy has some sort of class to it. If you go by Sparkle, you might as well just quit your job, leave your family, and go work at a strip club for the rest of your life. It may be the trashiest name you could possibly go with. But thank heavens it all worked out, and it didn’t come to that.
The best, or worst, part of all of this to me is the fact that this woman has two children. I can’t even begin to imagine the shit those kids are going to have to put up with at school when everyone knows their mom’s new name is Sexy. Because high school kids need extra reason to make ‘your mom’ jokes. This just supplies them with enough ammunition for endless amounts of teasing and joking around.
I suppose that in the end we should all do whatever makes us the happiest. If that means changing your first name to Sexy, then hey, go for it. But at the same time, I will still judge you and think it’s a dumbass decision. But as long as you’re okay with that, Sexy Ranea Crabtree, then more power to you.